so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
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Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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