better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
