I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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