If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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