can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This house was built for laser tag.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
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I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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