if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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