im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
