The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.