I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm retarded. Again.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.