it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
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I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
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I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.