Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.