for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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