I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.