Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
