What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
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The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though