there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize