so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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