i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
