I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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