You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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