I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize