Cold hands, warm shart.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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