i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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