Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
