Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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