hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It's just like the Real World with babies
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
