from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
as a side note pls kill me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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