Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
