I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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