dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
