you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize