but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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