I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she looked like the before picture.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
