so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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