that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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