But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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