ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
