i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
