You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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