When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
