i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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