I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
