the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
