We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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