I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
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Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
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she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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