please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
did i walk over a car last night?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
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Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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