the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
