Got a toothbrush?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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