quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just had sex on a roof
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize