reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
