brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
