i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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