If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
