Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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