Porn is love you can see.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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