i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
