Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
