He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
